The Constitution: Mural by Barry Faulkner at the National Archives

The American Soul: Time to Renew Our Commitment…to Each Other

As we approach the end of Patriots’ Week (9/11 thru Constitution Day, 9/17), let’s reflect with pride on the actions of extraordinary Americans. The events in 1787 and 2001 still fill us with awe, amazement, and gratitude…and of course for 9/11 specifically, visceral anger and the vow to never forget.

First, the actions of our September patriots, though 214 years apart, were filled with commitment. A commitment to their country and fellow countrymen. A commitment to push through to find the way forward, even at the toughest times. A commitment to inspire us for the ages.

And now a “commitment” sadly forgotten or deliberately ignored by far too many of us.

I lost a friend of 44 years, Chris, to liver cancer a few weeks ago. A friend like no other…one whom I spent hours on the phone laughing with, teasing, and debating politics. We had both been Congressional Pages (and roommates), he was a Democrat and I’m a Republican and we loved to debate issues and candidates, and would bet dinners on each election (Neither of us ever paid off our bets, we just upped the number of dinners owed for the next election.)

Truly a “best” friend. Until eight years ago. When he abruptly stopped talking with me. Over politics. Politics. Eight years of friendship, laughter and camaraderie lost…for what? The thing we loved to debate and tease each other about was now so toxic, it was worth surrendering our friendship over?

He called a few weeks before he died (I didn’t even know he was ill), apologized, and asked us to come visit before he passed. Lisa, Boujee and I made the painful trip to Austin during the 4th of July holiday—worst Independence Day ever.

I was simultaneously so grateful and so angry. We hugged and cried…and cried some more. I told him how pissed I was at him…and how grateful I was to have him back in my life…and how much I loved him. And then, as quickly as he came back into my life, he was gone. He died a few weeks later.

It simply didn’t need to be this way. And it shouldn’t be this way. In fact, our beautiful American history is full of friendship examples—way more prominent than Chris and mine—that saw their ups and downs, but nevertheless survived, despite deep political disagreement: Adams & Jefferson, Lincoln & Douglas, Hoover & Truman, Nixon & Humphrey, Ford & Carter, Reagan & O’Neill, Hatch & Kennedy, and the Bushes & Clintons.

Credit: Ronald Reagan Presidential Library & Museum

But now those of us much less well-known can’t maintain friendships while we engage in policy give-and-take? We really can’t disagree without hating one another? As our current president likes to say, “C’mon, Man!”

We can do better. We must do better. And because we still believe in the American Exceptionalism God graced us with, Our American Soul will eventually heal this self-inflicted wound.

Throughout our great and flawed history, we’ve often taken the right path—only after getting terribly lost on the wrong one. The famous psychotherapist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl wrote, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves…”

Let’s use our commemoration of this Patriots’ Week to start changing ourselves. Let’s remember the fierce debate—and then eventual compromise—our founders achieved in 1787. And let’s recall the courage of our Flight 93 heroes, who fought for the promise of America…they knew they were sacrificing themselves for.

Let’s honor the memory and commitment of our September heroes by finding our way forward. We owe them nothing less.

Chris, rest in peace now, my friend, because when we meet again, we’ll be back at it: teasing, laughing and telling each other how wrong the other one is. In the meantime, after 48 years of active political involvement (The Ford campaign was my first), I’ll be taking a break. And regardless of who wins this year’s election, I’m making good on one of those dinners…to celebrate you…and us…and an America made richer by healthy, passionate debate…among friends.

Happy Patriot’s Week and (now more than ever) may God Bless America!

Steve, with Lisa & Boujee…

And from 2009, on leave from my deployment, surprising new Council Member Chris Riley as he’s sworn into the Austin City Council.